


The Desert Community

by Nerdgirl001



Category: The X-Files, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, Lost - Freeform, Surrealism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 03:47:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11501127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdgirl001/pseuds/Nerdgirl001
Summary: Mulder and Scully have been in many confusing and surreal situations before, but none of them compare to this small town that appears on no maps.





	The Desert Community

**Author's Note:**

  * For [that_one_kid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_one_kid/gifts).



"Question Everything, Scully." Mulder had been driving for six hours now, and it was beginning to show. He kept stretching his neck and back and shifting around uncomfortably in his chair. 

They had been arguing for the last of those hours about the directions to their destination. The map told them that they were on the correct path to the Kofa National Wildlife Refuge where there had been reports of an animal who is able to predict, or maybe even control, the weather, when in fact they were nowhere near where they wanted to be. Mulder knew the path they should have been on, and this was not it. Scully, sitting in the passenger seat and nearly being taken over by the largest road map Mulder had ever seen, was sure that they hadn't missed the turn.

"Why would I question everything?" Scully asked, giving up on the argument and trying to determine where they actually were by looking out the window. 

"That's my girl." Mulder said with a smile, not answering the question in any way. 

She sighed and, although she didn't want to admit it, finally said "Mulder, I think we're lost."

"What? No way." Mulder said, a slight annoyance permeating his already sarcastic tone.

Scully shot a glare at him. "This map, it doesn't make sense anymore. We were traveling down Interstate 10." She ran her finger along the path that they had just traveled. "We stopped in Phoenix to get some gas, and then got back on I-10 traveling west about half an hour ago, correct?" 

Mulder nodded. "That's right." 

Scully exasperatedly pointed out the window at a passing sign, "So when the hell did we get on Route 800?" 

Mulder looked at the signs they were passing, most of them were mile markers. The numbers were now going up instead of down. There didn't seem to be any towns for miles around. "That is strange,” he agreed, speeding up to the new limit. A small part of him wanted to gloat about being right, but another much larger part of him did not want to be stuck in the car for an extra hour or so with Scully not talking to him.

"I just don't understand how we got here. What's more, I can't seem to find a Route 800 anywhere on this damn map!" She sighed and folded the Atlas up. "Why don't we just stop in some town and-" 

"Woah!" Mulder swerved to narrowly avoid a car that came barreling past them. It had no licence plate, and a strange glimmer about it. Scully chalked this glimmer up to the heat of this place. She was sure it had gotten 10 degrees hotter in the past three miles. 

"Asshole,” she said under her breath as they watched the car speed away and disappear before the horizon. Then suddenly, she asked "Mulder?" 

"Yes, Scully?" he said, checking his rearview mirror for any more suddenly appearing cars.

"What time was it when we left Phoenix?" 

Without looking down at the clock Mulder replied, "I don't know, maybe twelve thirty?" 

"Right." Scully said in a tone that made concern bubble up in Mulder. "So why is it five forty seven?"

Mulder glanced down at the clock to find that it was in fact, five forty seven. "That's impossible. Look at the sun! There's no way it's past two o'clock. Something must be messing with the clock." 

They passed a sign reading 'Desert Bluffs, next exit,' It had no other information besides a spray painted message in sprawling handwriting. This message said 'Beware. Much worse than Night Vale.' 

"Looks like there are some towns coming up," Scully said, while looking out the window at the hot desert around them. "Why don't we stop and get some lunch- or dinner- and figure out what's going on."

With a thankful nod, Mulder asked, "What do you say? Night Vale or Desert Bluffs?"

As if on cue, the radio turned on and started playing a strange music. Scully hit the power button, but it clicked back on a second later, louder this time, as it said _"Welcome to Night Vale."_

"Well, I'm interested." Mulder said with a smile, passing the turn for Desert Bluffs.

Scully nodded, the aches of being in a car for so long already beginning to subside with the promise of getting out soon. 

They turned onto a road with no name and passed by an old house that seemed to be glowing brighter than then the rest of the shabby town. They passed a trailer park in which the people stood around and watched them with blank expressions. 

 

Scully turned away from them and began to listen to the radio.

_"And whistling. And the lawn is whistling back! What a nice day it is today, Night Vale. What a nice day."_

She rolled her eyes, she hated when news media took 'poetic liberties' in their segments.

_"And now, the Night Vale Community Calendar._

__

__

_This Monday, The Eagles will be playing one of their most recent hits, 'Oh God They Had Us Preserved Please Just Let Us Die,' at Dark Owl Records."_

She scrunched her nose. Charlie had gone through a phase in which he listened to every Eagles song ever, and she was fairly sure that she knew them all by heart. That did not sound like a song they had made or ever would make.

_"Tuesday, the colour is Mauve. Remember, this is the universal colour for danger. This Tuesday, be warned._

__

__

_Wednesday was overbooked, so we'll take two next week."_

She sighed. It must be some sort of skit.

_"Thursday, Big Rico's has a sale on wheat and wheat by-product free dough. Buy one lump of dough now and get your city-mandated pizza slices free for a week. No one makes a slice like Big Rico's. No one._

__

__

_Friday, the Night Vale Elementary School PTA is hosting a bake sale to benefit our "Hatred Fund." Be sure to stop on by to pick up some sweet treats for a great cause."_

She considered just turning it off. In fact, she was already reaching toward the volume control when the radio host said something that made her pause.

_"Saturday, Walter Skinner will watch another game of baseball and worry. You should really call him more often. He worries. Not, not that he's your father or anything, and he doesn't want to push you, but it would make him feel better if you both checked in sometimes, okay? That's all._

__

__

Sunday, horror. 

_This has been the Night Vale Community Calendar. "_

She was staring at Mulder, and he was staring at her. Luckily they had just parked. Scully turned the volume down all the way. She began to laugh. "How much did he pay for that ad?" 

Mulder shook his head, "I'm not sure he did. How would he even know that we would be here?" There was a moment of silence. "Tell you what, you go into that Subway and get us some sandwiches, I'll fill up the gas tank and call our AD." 

Scully nodded and got out of the car. She walked into the Subway, and began to order before she noted something strange. The man behind the counter wasn't a man at all. He was a cardboard cutout of someone, who she assumed was Big Rico, given the name tag he was wearing, with devil's horns and a curlicue mustache drawn on. There was a light beaming out of the door to the kitchen that filled Scully with such a feeling of dread that she immediately pulled her weapon. She began to walk toward the glowing door when suddenly the radio turned back on, though she could see no speakers in the shop. 

_"You want to leave. YOU SHOULD LEAVE NOW. You can’t leave him alone out there.”_

Scully stood there rooted to the spot for a moment before she decided to run. She reached the door to outside and pulled it open as it attempted to lock. She ran out of the store and across the street to the gas station where Mulder had just hung up the phone. 

"Get this," Mulder said, turning. Upon seeing the state of his partner he dropped the smile and asked, "What's wrong?" 

"There was something wrong with that Subway,” she informed him, "I tried to investigate, but then that radio station came out of the damn walls and told me to leave."

Mulder laughed lightly, "He was telling a story. He said it was the traffic report or something like that," 

Scully narrowed her eyes slightly. "Why don't we just go to a diner or something?" 

Mulder smiled, "Sure.” Then after a moment of silence as they got back into the car he asked, "Wanna know what Skinner said?" 

Scully, having forgotten about that already, nodded.

"Well, he was confused as to why I called, but when I told him that we had gotten lost on our way to the Wildlife Refuge he said that it was nice to get an update from us and that he wished we would update him more often." 

Scully shook her head. "He's always saying that, it doesn't mean that the radio predicted anything." 

Mulder gave her that smile, the one that made his eyes glimmer with the reveal of whatever piece of information he had been sitting on.

"What is it, Mulder?"

He cleared his throat and tried to play it off as though this didn't prove everything the radio said to him without a shadow of a doubt. "He said he was looking forward to watching the baseball game on Saturday."

They drove until the they came upon a small diner with a sign that read ‘Moonlight All Night Diner’. They both looked at each other and shrugged. Mulder parked the car and quietly they headed into the diner. They heard the sound of the radio playing lightly in the background, though again, Scully didn't see any speakers.

They quickly found a seat and ordered their food. Scully ordered a Greek Salad and Mulder got a burger. 

“Look at this, Scully,” Mulder said, pulling out his two stopwatches he used to find time disturbances. “I started them both when I was getting gas and I kept them in different pockets.”

Scully looked from one clock face to the other, she shook her head, “Mulder, these clocks are almost thirty minutes off from each other, and we haven't even been here that long.” 

Mulder smiled, “I know! This town is crazy, I'm beginning to wonder if this is a hoax - me, Scully!”

Scully shook her head, “I never thought I'd see the day.” she handed him one of the stopwatches.

Their food came to the table quickly and they ate it happily, although it wasn't very good. 

The waitress approached once they had cleared their plates and asked, “Can I get you anything else?” 

Scully shook her head, but Mulder nodded and asked, “Can I get a slice of your best pie?” 

The waitress nodded, “Visible or invisible?” 

Mulder gave a small laugh before replying “Visible?” 

Without a laugh in return the waitress nodded again and walked toward the kitchen. 

Mulder and Scully turned to each other, both with immensely confused expressions. When the waitress brought out the slice of strawberry pie, that was completely visible, they were able to resume their conversation about the town. 

“It's like everyone here is trying to put on a show.” Scully said exasperatedly, “I just want to find out who's pulling the strings.” 

Mulder smiled. “Be careful, Scully, you're beginning to sound like a crackpot conspirator.” 

She shook her head, “I'm serious, Mulder. Something isn't right here, and I have a feeling it's all got to do with that radio station.” She paused for Mulder to respond but, as he was too busy eating his slice of pie and simply shrugged, she continued. “I feel like this is all just a crazy dream. That soon I'll wake up and we'll be driving down the interstate still heading toward that Wildlife Refuge.” 

Mulder finally looked up from his pie, recognizing the concern in his partner's voice, “Let's go investigate that radio station then. We’ll see what's going on in this town and if you wake up then at least you'll know the reason behind all this weirdness.” He grinned at her.

She sighed. “Alright.” A moment of silence passed before she continued. “You know, all you had to say was that you're really here and so this couldn't be a dream.” 

His eyes glimmered as he responded, “Ah, but doesn't the fact that I said something other than what you were expecting prove that this isn't a dream?” Scully just gave him a look that made him place his hand over hers and say, “I'm really here. This can't be a dream.” 

Scully smiled at him. She flagged down the waitress and asked for a check. The waitress however, looking fairly annoyed, merely pointed to the tray of sugar packets sitting in the middle of the table and walked away. Scully, after a quick glance at an equally bewildered Mulder, picked up the tray to find the check, already filled out, beneath. “She must have put it there when she brought your pie.” she said, more convincing herself than Mulder. 

Mulder nodded and placed the proper amount on the bill and motioned for them to leave. When they got to the door Scully turned back to see the waitress, more annoyed now, placing the check with the money under the sugar tray again. Scully shook her head and followed Mulder toward the car. 

“So, how do we get to the radio station?” Mulder asked, getting into the driver's seat. 

Scully shrugged and turned on the radio, thankful to find that it was playing music, she said “I guess just drive around until we find it. I get the feeling that we won't be able to find a map of this town anywhere.” 

Mulder nodded, turning up the strange music, “Sounds good to me.” 

It took them all of twenty minutes to find the studio, most of the issue was that the people standing in the streets with pads of paper and no writing devices who were pointing them in the right direction would crowd the car asking for autographs at points so that they were unable to move. Scully considered pulling her gun a few times but considering the fact that they were just civilians, unless this town was some sort of government set up, she restrained herself. Finally, they arrived at the studio and were ushered inside by many strange people. 

It didn't take long to find the strange man who ran the show, he smiled at them with a bright pained smile. He was indescribable in so many ways. A man stood at his side lovingly. The man had beautiful long hair, and stood with the air of someone who knew a great deal more than anyone he worked with. The man running the show wouldn't allow them to speak, and wouldn't speak to them, until he finally started the show again. “And we are back. In the hour since I last spoke to you, we have indeed been joined by Special Agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, as well as Perfect Scientist Carlos Palmer. So, let’s start this interview off with a simple question - what brings successful reality stars like yourselves to Night Vale?” 

Scully and Mulder looked to the man standing beside the radio host, but soon realized that he was in fact, talking to them. 

“Excuse me?” Scully asked.

The man that Carlos called Cecil stared at her for a moment expectantly. She stared back.

“Did you say reality TV? Huh. I've always thought of us as more of a sci-fi game changer type thing.” Mulder replied to break the silence. Scully glared at Mulder, and Cecil leaned forwards slightly. With a start, Scully realized she couldn't have described him at that (or any) moment. Not skin color, height, hair color, tattoos. She was unable to form the words to describe him in her head at all.

“Excellent point, David. Carlos and I were just discussing your theories regarding extraterrestrials. Carlos?” 

The other man smiled and pushed his glasses up his nose self-consciously. “Ah, yes. Interesting theories, for certain. But your work seems focused around conspiracy theories about secret world governments and aliens in positions of power.” 

“And?” Mulder challenged. Carlos blushed. 

“Well, it’s just that science is about exploring the unknown, and those sort of things are widely accepted and documented. I was just wondering if you’d put any thoughts into studying any more controversial topics?”

“More controversial?” Scully interjected, “what do you want us to investigate? Whether aliens built the pyramids?”

“Well, they did,” Cecil said, deadpan. 

“No, I was thinking something like...,” the scientist lowered his voice, and Mulder leaned forwards. “Whether mountains exist. Or, or, if that's too controversial, whether angels exist.”

Cecil cleared his throat and angled his body to be close to the microphone and began speaking in a voice that, when compared to his normal cadence, was positively frantic. “Of course, the opinions expressed here are irrelevant to the world at large, as I'm legally required to report. Mountains aren't real.” Carlos rested a hand on his back, seemingly to comfort the distraught radio host. 

Scully looked from one face to the other, dumbfounded. “What? What do you mean? We can see a mou-” 

Carlos hastily interjected. “Woah, ah, I wouldn't say that on air. Sheriff’s Secret Police might decide Cecil’s usual exemptions don't apply to out of towners,”

“And we would be right,” said a genderless voice from the telephone resting on Cecil’s desk. 

“Oh. Listeners, an unexpected treat - sheriff Sam is joining us by wire tapping my phone. Aaaand they’re gone. Well, thank you for joining us. We’re going to cut to a prerecorded message.” He flipped two switches, took out a penknife, sliced his finger, and smeared the blood from it onto a small black stone set into the side of the radio. The on-air light blinked off. 

“Okay. What on Earth is going on here?” Scully got up from her seat and began searching the station for cameras and microphones. She yanked open the doors to what appeared to be an unlabeled storage unit. Inside, a man in a police uniform was jotting notes on a pad of legal paper. His badge said ‘Sheriff's Secret Police.’ Without looking up he muttered, “Brooms are in the next closet over.”

Scully sighed and closed the door. “I give up. Somebody please explain what the hell is going on here.”

Cecil held a finger to his lips, flipping another switch and wiping his still-bleeding finger on a different stone. The on-air sign flickered back on.

“And we are back. Back from questions of conspiracy and secret police and... “ Cecil shuddered. “Mountains. Back to the humdrum of everyday life, those daily little mysteries that we walk by.” Scully blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift of pace. She glanced at Mulder, who just shrugged. 

“Why is that car swerving? Who is the woman walking next to you on the street? What events led to the man on the subway to spill his coffee? What is the moon, really?” Scully gave Cecil a look, but he seemed completely earnest, his forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“But after all, that's why we have science, and strangers, and Desert Bluffs. Without the other, the strange, we would never question the here and now. The familiar. So tonight, Night Vale, take nothing for granted. Question everything (except, of course, what is federally and locally mandated that you not question). And goodnight, Night Vale. Good night.” Cecil switched off the radio (without blood, this time) and stretched just farther than looked physically possible. Carlos planted an affectionate kiss on his cheek, and helped him out of his seat.

“That's the show,” Cecil said, smiling the same, strange smile at them. 

Scully allowed herself to laugh lightly, “and what a show it is.” 

A winged being, seven feet tall and somehow radiating darkness as if it was light appeared in front of Scully. Mulder yelped, but Scully managed to limit her reaction to jumping slightly. Cecil seemed completely unruffled, and Carlos was trying to unobtrusively use a Geiger counter on it. 

“Hey, Erika,” Cecil said, casually. 

“Erica?” Mulder asked, gesturing faintly at the being. 

“No, Erika. With a k.” Cecil corrected absentmindedly. 

“We like, officially exist now, I guess.” The being said, in an unexpectedly human voice. “So, thanks, or something.”

“Glad to help.” Cecil said, and then without looking at the excitedly vibrating scientist at his arm added, “Can a few angels stop by Carlos’ lab for a few tests?”

“Sure, whatever you want,” the being (angel?) answered. They vanished again. 

Scully didn't even say anything this time. She gave Cecil a look, Cecil merely shrugged as if to say that's just kinda how it is here. She let out a sigh and looked to her partner, “I don't think we’re ever going to get the answers we’re looking for here.” 

Mulder smiled and stood next to her, “I guess not. There's only one thing we do know. Mountains exist.” He got the words out before anyone could stop him. In an instant he and Scully were surrounded by a mixture of strange hooded figures and members of the Sheriff's secret police and the world quickly faded into blackness.

Scully woke with a start, an indeterminate time later, she managed to kick the bottom of the dashboard as she was apparently in the passenger side of the car. 

“Woah!” Mulder said with a small chuckle at the state of his partner. “How's it going there?”

Scully are looked at Mulder with wonder, “Mulder? Where were we an hour ago?” 

Mulder gave her a concerned look, “about thirty minutes out from Phoenix. Are you okay?” 

Scully shook her head, concerned at her brain's ability to convince her of that crazy town, “Weird dream.”

Mulder gave her a concerned look, "wanna pull over? You look like you could use some fresh air." 

She nodded, listening to the radio playing perfectly normal ads, she sighed. Suddenly remembering, she searched her pockets for- it had to be real if it was there- the stop watch. Her fingers clasped around its small metal body and she pulled it victoriously from her pocket. 

Mulder looked over at the commotion as much as he could while still driving, "Is that my stop watch?" He asked.

Scully smiled, "Yes! You gave it to me in that town. Night Vale." 

Mulder carefully pulled the stop watch he had out of his pocket, "What town?" 

"Nightvale." Scully said snatching Mulder's stop watch and checking it against hers. 

There was a moment of silence.

"Scully?" Mulder asked.

"They're not running."

Mulder gave a slow nod, "Didn't I hand that to you at the gas station?" 

Scully shrugged, "I guess you must have."


End file.
